


eat your ego, honey (swallow your pride)

by orphan_account



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Car Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 15:48:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12560828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cop realizes then that this is an exercise in choice; his pride in exchange for a good fuck, and God help him, he's been with Miami long enough to know exactly what he wants.





	eat your ego, honey (swallow your pride)

"Remind me again," Cop's breath hitches, thighs instinctively closing around Miami's waist as the other Rick eases a second finger into him. He waits it out, wills away the tightening in his lower gut to continue, a breathless tremor now in his voice, "r-remind me again why I, _ungh_ \-- let you talk me into this."

Miami grins, pushing his sunglasses down the tip of his nose, low enough to make eye contact with the Rick currently under him. "Why, officer, I don't recall ever talking you into anything," his voice is silky smooth, the smugness ever-present. He starts moving two of his fingers inside Cop, relishes in both the tight heat and the sounds he draws out of him. "If I remember correctly, it was _you_ who came to _me_."

He twists his fingers at the same time he pushes deeper, screwdriving his way inside Cop until he feels the press of his prostate. Cop's reaction is instantaneous; he gives a sudden jolt like he'd been electrocuted, then thrashes and bucks his hips as Miami prolongs the contact, pressing in in _in_ until tears spring out the corners of Cop's eyes.

"Shhh, hey, stop moving so much," Miami places a hand around Cop's hip, digits pressing into the skin to get some sense back into the overstimulated Rick. "Officer, hey-- baby, _baby_ , you gotta stop thrashing around like a fish outta water. Can't have anyone snooping around, wonderin' what a police car's having a seizure for."

Cop does nothing but whimper in reply, face taking on a violent shade of red. Miami grants him a small mercy by withdrawing his fingers, the squelch it makes bouncing off the car's interior and adding to Cop's shame.

"Now," Miami pats himself down, plucking another packet of alien lube from his coat pocket before shrugging the thing off. "I'm gonna go all in with three fingers, and then I'm gonna fuck you like you asked me to, officer."

Cop, despite being at a disadvantage with his splayed legs and pleasure-pinked face, still has it in him to scowl. "I didn't ask--"

Miami cuts him off by loudly tearing the packet off with his teeth, spitting to the side before pouring some on his palm. The lube Miami regularly procurs from another dimension is quite the substance; it's glowy and purple, already warm from the moment it's opened.

"Oh yeah, that's right," Miami grins, toothy and all-too infuriating. "you _begged_."

Before Cop can get another word out in retaliation, Miami rubs his finger around Cop's rim, relishing at the hitch in his breath. "If it were up to me, I'd finger you all day, baby." Miami mumbles, almost as if he's talking to himself. That couldn't be the case though, considering how he's perfectly aware there's little to no space left between them in the backseat. Cop concedes on it being part of Miami's dirty talk, his cock promptly twitching and stiffening at the conclusion.

Soon enough, Miami has three fingers inside Cop, the alien lube relaxing the tight channel around him. He probes deeper in between murmured encouragements, telling Cop how _tight and wet he is, goddamn_ and how he _can't wait to fuck him stupid until he cries_.

By the time he's considerably loosened, Cop is practically at his wit's end, eyes dilated and glazed over, worked up from both Miami's fingers and words. Miami silently relishes at the sight, one hand sneaking to squeeze himself through his slacks.

"You ready, officer? Ready to take this dick you begged for?"

If this were any other time and Miami didn't currently have three fingers buried in him, Cop would've responded with an exasperated sigh or eye roll. As it happens, he _is_ lying on his back, buck naked with his legs spread open for Miami, so Cop can only snort softly in response.

The sound doesn't escape Miami's ears, who's now taken his dick out through his open fly, jacking himself off with the excess lube. His head jerks up from where he'd been staring at Cop's asshole swallowing his fingers, unibrow cocked up his forehead.

"What was that, officer? You don't want it after all?" There's an almost disappointed tone to his voice, the hand around his cock halting just as he eases his fingers out of Cop. He stares at the open, gaping hole before clicking his tongue, almost as if to say _What a pity_. And Cop, despite knowing how this is just part of Miami's sick manipulation game where he turns the situation to his favor, still feels a sliver of panic run down his spine.

"And here I thought you wanted to get fucked." Miami's getting exceptionally good with the theatrics, because it really does seem like he's going to leave Cop like this, considering how he's currently trying to stuff his cock back into his slacks.

Cop realizes then that this is an exercise in choice; his pride in exchange for a good fuck, and God help him, he's been with Miami long enough to know exactly what he wants.

"Wait-- no," Cop leans up just enough to catch Miami's wrist, silently easing his grip from his cock. He takes over, fingers hesitant at first then gaining a sloppy but sure rhythm as he works Miami back to full hardness, so much so that he's almost swollen.

"Oh, _fuck_ ," Miami groans, hiking his own shirt up to his stomach to watch with an almost delirious look in his eyes. He starts pumping his hips along with Cop's fist, chewing hard on his lip at the pleasure. "Y-yeah, c'mon, get it nice and hard, baby. You want this, don't you? Want this dick really fucking bad, huh?"

Cop feels heat creep up from his gut all the way up his torso, stopping just at his ears. He barely hears anything else aside from Miami's labored breathing and the slick noises his hand is making, but he nods all the same.

"Yeah," he relents, meeting Miami's eyes and mirroring the cloud of arousal and want present in his gaze. "I want it... I want your-- I want you to... to fuck me--"

The last word barely escapes Cop's lips as Miami pushes his hand off his dick, roughly gripping him by the meat of his thighs instead. He expends an enormous amount of effort in bringing Cop's legs up until they're dangling over his shoulders, making him more exposed than ever.

"Since you asked so sweetly, officer," Miami says, going for cheeky but instead coming out gruff. His sunglasses are now up the bridge of his nose, blocking out his eyes, and he looks so incredibly sleazy that it turns Cop on even more. Miami wastes no time in guiding himself into Cop's tight heat, the head catching at the rim before pushing in. "Ohhh _Christ_ \-- fuck, baby--"

Cop is in no better shape, back curved in an outward bow as he takes Miami deeper, broken moans escaping out of him at the wet friction. Miami stills for a moment, giving Cop some time to adjust as he in turn catches his breath as well.

"Mm," Cop manages after a while, digging his ankle into Miami's back. Despite his sunglasses obscuring his eyes from view, Cop still flushes at the open, hungry look Miami fixes him with. "'M good..."

Miami responds by turning his neck to press a wet kiss against the back of Cop's knee, still conveniently perched on his shoulder. Cop colors darkly, precum leaking out his cock at the sight.

 _ _"Okay, baby," Miami starts by undulating his hips experimentally, closely watching Cop's face as he does so. He transitions by pumping into Cop, small in-and-outs that progress into measured thrusts as Cop's face melts from mild discomfort to blissed-out pleasure. "_ Ahh_, shit-- mmm, you're taking me so good--"

Wet smacking sounds bounce off around them, and Cop's positive that the police car's shaking so much someone's bound to notice, but he's getting fucked too good to care. He's past the point of pretending he doesn't want this, not when Miami makes him feel so delicious and raw when they're like this, giving him a high he thinks no drug could ever compare to.

It's a metaphor Cop doesn't have firsthand experience of (for obvious reasons), but Miami told him so during one of the many times they've done this, and considering how Miami's literally had his hands on almost every drug to exist in the central finite curve, that _must_ mean something.

Cop is wrenched from his thoughts at the first jab of Miami's cock against his prostate, his vision blurring at the edges as he twitches, hands coming up to grip at empty air.

"Oh g-god, _oh_ , f-uck--" Cop's jaw slackens around a silent scream as Miami suddenly folds into him, his legs burning at the exertion of being stretched. He presses his palms on either side of Cop's head, the change in position causing his dick to press in deeper. He takes full advantage of this by fucking Cop harder, hitting his prostate each time.

"Yeah, c'mon, take it, baby," Miami mumbles, breaking off into a moan when Cop tightens around him just as he draws back, the wet heat suctioning him back in. "Jesus _Christ_! Shit, d-don't-- you-- you better stop, or I'm gonna come too soon--"

Cop laughs, breathless, just because he knows it's enough of a taunt to rile Miami up. Two can play this game, he thinks, then immediately regrets his decision when Miami's jaw tightens, fingers moving from his thighs to grip his hips hard enough to bruise.

"Y-yeah? You s-sure you wanna play, officer?" Miami has the courtesy of asking even when he doesn't wait for Cop's response, instead jackhammering into him until Cop's reduced to a near-sobbing mess. Then to add to the torture, Miami reaches out to close a tight fist around Cop, his swollen dick jerking in protest. "I'm gonna come first-- it's _aaaaall_ going in this sweet ass, officer. And then... well, let's just see how long 'til you can hold off."

True to his word, Miami keeps an iron grip around his dick while he fucks into Cop even more, movements losing any sense of rhythm as he moves with a frantic, almost animalistic urge. It's the way Miami fucks when his pleasure takes the forefront of his mind, and Cop knows from experience that he can do nothing but take and take and take until Miami's sated his selfish desire.

"Hey," Miami's voice sounds far off, Cop being too pleasured and distressed in equal measure, but he angles his head all the same just as Miami presses his lips against his mouth. The angle is no doubt killing his back, but Miami doesn't show any sign of stopping either his hips or his tongue, now currently sneaking between Cop's parted lips. "officer," his breath is hot against Cop's mouth, moving his head so he can nose the underside of Cop's jaw. "baby... so good, so good for me..."

Cop responds by sliding his feet from where they're pressed against the middle of Miami's back down to his hips, digging his heels to stuff his cock into him even more. Miami chokes around a moan, too bewildered to catch a breath as Cop clenches around him.

"Come on... _please_ \--" Cop urges, knows that the magic word is enough for Miami to come, and he does, violent and sharp, like his orgasm had been snatched out of him. He bears his entire weight down on Cop, gasping at the white-hot pleasure as he comes inside Cop in thick, hot spurts.

" _Nghhh_ , fuck, fuck, fuck," Miami accents his cusses with a desperate push of his hips, riding out his orgasm by trying to sink into Cop deeper. Cop can do nothing but whimper, overwhelmed at the feeling of being filled with too much too soon.

Eventually, the shove of Miami's hips taper off into shallow thrusting, his breath easing from sharp gasps to steady inhale-exhales. Despite the intensity of his orgasm, Miami's able to maintain his grip on Cop's now-nearing to purple dick, a feat he could have been rewarded for if not for the fact it's enough to drive any person insane.

Cop tries to raise attention to his neglected cock by weakly shoving his hips up into Miami, but that backfires when it only makes Miami's softening dick press against his prostate once more.

"Shit!" Miami grits out, halting Cop's movements with his free hand. "Fuck, just-- let me--" There's a slight tremor to his frame as he slowly slides out, no doubt overstimulated by the feel of Cop's wet heat still closing in on his sensitive cock.

"Ahhh, _yeah_ , that's the stuff..." he murmurs once he's pulled out completely, his lecherous gaze fixed on his cum currently trailing out of Cop's fucked out hole in copious amounts. "God, I wish I could take a picture..."

An indignant noise tears out of Cop at that; despite being denied a long overdue orgasm, he still has half a mind to disapprove Miami's long-running fantasy.

"Yeah, I know, officer, no pics, no videos, no nothin' for proof," Miami flicks his gaze down to Cop's exposed hole, licking his lips as he drinks in the sight. "just my cum... _here_."

He traces the rim of Cop's ass before scooping some of his cum, rubbing it around two of his fingers before sliding back in, slow and unforgiving even as Cop jerks violently, still too sensitive from being fucked earlier.

"No, no, no, I _can't_ \--" Cop's practically sobbing now, delirious and overloaded with sensation. A weaker man would've taken pity by then and let Cop have his much needed release, but Miami, being a true incarnate of the devil himself, starts jacking Cop off in tight, harsh pulls in time with his fingers thrusting in and out of him.

"Don't worry, baby, I'm gonna let you come," Miami coos, having the gall to make his voice sound all sweet and innocent. Cop chokes out a moan, his thighs twitching and trembling as Miami's fingers twist into him mercilessly. "Just say my name. Say it and I'll let you come all nice and good all over yourself."

As scandalous as the request is, Cop's just about willing to do anything, hiccups already bubbling up his throat at his state of deprivation. He whimpers, nodding his head frantically when Miami urges him on with a "Fucking say it, officer. Say. My. Name.", emphasizing the last three words with three hard pulls on his cock.

"Ple...ase..." Cop breathes out, voice throaty and raw. He tilts his head up at Miami, who in turn pushes his sunglasses up his forehead to watch him with dark, hungry eyes. Somehow, this makes Cop feel even more exposed, but instead of closing in on himself like he normally does, he puts on a show of throwing his head back, exposing the line of his neck as he moans, "Rick-- please, Rick, let me come-- I need to come-- _Rick_ \--"

Relief like Cop has never known before suddenly comes crashing and flooding into the very core of his being, his vision going white before everything goes blurry, colors mixing together until it all fades to black. He's too far out of it to close a hand around his dick like he usually does when they fuck in the car ("So it wouldn't stain." he'd explained to Miami before, red-faced and ashamed), getting cum all over himself and the seats.

"Fu- _huck_ \--" Miami grunts above him, slick, wet noises reverbrating around them until Cop feels strings of hot cum lining his stomach, Miami marking him a second time today.

Cop floats in pure bliss for several minutes, his muscles aching and skin slick with sweat and cum. Miami's still hovering above him, drinking in the sight of Cop's sex-flushed face and taking pride in being the cause of it. _This_ is what was missing from Cop's face when they met up earlier; the sated look of a man fucked to next week and back.

"Hey..." Miami lets a finger trail down Cop's cheek, grinning to himself as Cop frowns, trying to swat his hand away. "as much as I wanna stare at you covered in cum all day, I can't let you fall asleep on me." Cop eventually cracks an eye open, looking for all the world like he's about to aim his laser gun at Miami when suddenly, a beep on the car's dashboard goes off.

" _Shit_!" Cop jerks upward, pushing Miami until his head hits the window just as the Dispatcher Rick hologram lights up the car's interior.

"There's been a robbery at 12th Aven--" The hologram Rick raises a unibrow at the sight of Cop, naked and barely obscured by the shadows from the backseat. There's also a pair of legs tangled around his, but the rest is obscured from view by a hot pink coat. "Uh, groOOUGHss."

Cop's heart jumps to his throat as the hologram Rick turns away, murmuring to someone off-screen. "...Uh-huh, yeah, since Unit 7 Rick's still busy _WHACKING HIS DICK OFF_ \--" the last part is deliberately said in a voice loud enough to travel across the entire station, "I don't think he's fit to respond. Oh, Unit 3's on it? Good."

Cop's face is a bright red as hologram Rick fixes him with a look of great distaste. Fuck, what if he'd worked it out in his genius little brain that he'd just been fucked by another Rick, of all people? His badge would be stripped off him, he'd be labelled as a Rogue Rick--

"Unit 7?"

"...Y-yes?"

"You gotta scout for a better lay, buddy. I mean, look at the legs on that thing." Then the hologram fizzes off, but not before he hears a chorus of cackling Ricks, further burying Cop in his shame.

"...The fuck? My legs are glorious!" Miami wrenches his coat off himself a second later, sunglasses askew and hair mussed. "As if we're not _all_ Ricks--"

Cop winces at that, turning away from Miami with the pretense of looking for his slacks. He notices the several lines of cum along the backseat and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What? Are we already in the _What have I done, I'm a disgrace to the academy, why did I let a Rick fuck my ass_ stage? We haven't even _cuddled_ \--"

"Please." Cop raises a hand in warning, the other hand now massaging his temples. "We almost got _caught_ \-- we're... we're being too reckless. We'd lose too much if anyone finds out--"

"You mean _you'd_ lose too much," Miami interjects, lazily tracing the pools of cum on Cop's stomach. When Cop swats his hand away he makes a face, instead reaching out to dig into his coat. He takes out a packet of quick absorbing tissues, but instead of handing them over to Cop, he maneuvers himself to hunch over him, pulling out a sheet to clean Cop himself. "We're Ricks, officer. I don't get what's there to lose even more than we already have."

Cop stays quiet at that, a strange warmth spreading in his chest as he lets Miami wipe off his chest and stomach, the act meticulous but gentle.

"Besides, I have a fucking portal gun. If they try to fuck with us, we're outta here, no questions asked, baby."

Cop's throat constricts, hating himself for the emotions that suddenly bubble up his chest, the most prominent one being _hope_ of all things.

 _God_ , he must really be losing his mind.

He resists the urge of voicing this out, however; he can save the dramatics for later, when he lets Miami get away for the nth time since they've started this cat-and-mouse chase. He'd hate himself, but that's how Ricks always are. It comes with the bad decision-making and irrepressible sexual urges, among other things.

Instead, what Cop says is, "Yeah, about that portal gun. It's unlicensed, isn't it?" and he lets himself laugh when Miami whirls to face him, eyes comically round.

"What're you gonna do, officer?" Miami plays along, unibrow raised high in worry. "Are you gonna handcuff me, tell me I'm a bad Rick?"

The innuendo doesn't escape the both of them, and Cop, despite everything they'd done the past hour and a half, still finds it in himself to _blush_.

Miami blinks, then looks over his shoulder to peer out the window.

"...You think we can still squeeze in some time for round two against that wall over there?"

Cop's face darkens even more, but he lets Miami take him by the wrist, pulse jumping at the contact. He really _is_ losing his mind, but at least he can take solace in the fact that Miami's definitely going down the same road as him.

Just as long as they're on the same page, that's what matters.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still on my miami/cop bullshit


End file.
